I once had a dog named Rutt
That had a problem with his butt
If he was barking, he shurley was farting
Their never was a louder mutt

There was a woman who had no knees
If their was stairs she always asked please
Help me up them, I haven’t the gumption
To climb the closest clump of trees

There once was a man named Byron
That was finally caught lyin’
He took his wife, who caught him twice
And sent her back to Ireland

There once was a cat named Sandy
Who thought everything was dandy
Until she met a dog, who was quite the hog
And ate the poor cat as candy

There once was a man from Nantucket
Who always carried a red bucket
It carried his cat, that had a black back
The best friend for a man with a bucket

There once was a young math major
She was a walking calculator
She told math jokes, to all sorts of folks
She was a sassy math major

I once had a girl who was my sweetie
Our fights always ended with a treaty
Whenever we would fight, She would hit with all her might
I never had a stronger sweetie